Chloe came to see me regarding a boy. They know each other for many years. Hang out in the same circles. Two years ago they connected romantically and she fell in love. Hard. As in twin flames hard. She is convinced they are the same soul in two different bodies, as they had experienced crazy synchronicity, telepathy and such.
Hearing the details, I also believe they are twin flames. So, what’s the problem? He has commitment issues (sigh…). She tried to chase after him, several times already. He comes close and then – disappears. At first, she thought it was part of a game, a teasing of sorts but the pattern was textbook twin flame. On and off. And repeat.
A year ago, she finally mustered the discipline and the will-power to end things for good. It was sad but she knew it was the right thing to do. Her life was back on route.
However, two weeks ago he texted her a simple “Hi”. All of her discipline and boundaries went out the window and the strong love, she hoped had faded away, came back blazing on. They didn’t meet or anything, as they were in two different countries and as usual he backed off, leaving her shattered for the thousandth time.
She came to see me because she currently feels stuck, disconnected, can’t focus, can’t function. She feels frozen, apathetic, not sure who she is and what she wants for herself. As if she is pulled in opposite directions and doesn’t know what to do about him.
We decided to talk to the two internal parts of her, that are battling, tearing her apart.
First came up the part who wanted her to wait for the guy to come to his senses I asked what should we call it. “Fun!” it said. I asked when it was created. “Two years ago, when they dated. It was so much fun! She was so happy!” it explained. “I want her to be happy. I don’t think she will never be that happy with someone else” he sounded so confident.
I asked the client if she was indeed that happy in the past. She said she had never experienced such a strong connection. (twin flame, did I mention that?)
I asked the part that opposes the relationship to talk to us. The client’s posture changed. Her voice turned loud and commanding. “What should we call you?” I asked. “Jack” the part said with authority. “Hi Jack” I continued. “What is you take on the situation?”
“Chloe is wasting her best years waiting for this guy. This is her time to build herself, her career, her business. These are very important years. She already spent two years, waiting for him to change. It will not happen.” It explained.
“Fun, what do you have to say?” I handed the mic to the other part. “It will happen soon, I promise. He is already changing his ways” it pleaded. “Bullshit! “ Jack interfered. It is just a fantasy Chloe had. It isn’t even real. You make her think it’s the only person in the world for her, so she is latching on to the dream, as if her life depends on it” it was getting impatient. “But he was the deepest, most meaningful relationship ever. You know that!” Fun was losing it too.
“Hey, everyone, let’s all calm down” I intervened. “We all want what is best for Chloe, remember?” I was firm.
“Fun, what do you want?” I asked. “We should wait” it answered. “How long?” I tried to define a time frame. “I don’t know. I don’t control the guy” it said. “How about six months? Do you think he will come around within six months?” I asked. “Sounds doable” fun agreed. “jack, what do you think?” I trod cautiously. “It is a waste of time” he was fir, “OK, what do you suggest, we need to meet half way” I kept negotiating these two opposites. “I want Chloe to focus on her goals. She has just graduated with a new profession, she is very talented and has to share her many gifts with the world. I want fun to stop distracting with the fantasy” it answered.
“OK, but you need to back off as well. Not making Chloe feel guilty all the time for not doing, wasting her time and talents. You need to let her off the hook. Both of you actually. For the next six months, you both lay low. Agreed?” There was silence and then both parts agreed.
I woke Chloe up. “What do you think of the discussion and agreement?” I asked. “I know they both want what’s best for me. Six months of truce is a good idea” she summed it up.
About a week later I got a text from her. “The cloud had cleared. I can focus, function, I feel I’m back to life. To be honest, originally, I didn’t like the “Sergeant” Jack, trying to boss me around but now I feel he is the more rational one. Thank you!”
